Cooking for One

For the past week, every night in Watford, all it does is rain, rain and pour down more rain.  I am secretly quite pleased, because local legends tell us that the Cailleach (a Celtic representation of the Crone) will soon be running out of fuel for her kitchen fire and so she will set out to collect more wood.  If the weather is clear and the sun is shining around the time of Imbolc (Jan 31 - Feb 2) then winter will continue, because it is only when the weather is foul and she is unable to gather any wood for her fires that she will use all her powers to bring winter to a hasty end.  During the days, however, the sun is shining, and the last of the snows have already long melted away and I am becoming concerned that we're in for another long haul period of the winter freeze.  Here's hoping the weather turns foul again soon!  If only for the next few days!

David feeding a hungry robin
along the trail

So the boys went on a roadtrip to Derby on the weekend (I had to attend a very important meeting last Friday so I could not join them in the end) so whilst they spent the weekend visiting one of the oldest and closest friends I have in England and walking around in the snowfall surrounding Dovedale (exercising their legs and building them up for the massive 26 mile trek that we plan to do this year from Stonehenge to Avebury (to raise money for Alzheimer's)), I too was tempted to wander far and wide from home but realising that I was also being given the opportunity to actually get some tasks done around the house that I'd been meaning to do for some time but never getting a round to it, I set to work creating the biggest mess and then tidying it all up again (something my cousin in Australia, Daniela, had predicated would occur, although she seemed to have less faith in my ability to get it all nice and tidy again before the boys returned home, which I'd like to point out that I did manage in the end).  Having so much "to-do" around the place the first thing I did was create a to-do list. Then I set about tearing the place apart. 

Fiona and Fox in Dovedale

It's funny how when you lose the crowd to cook for, the desire to cook can sometimes completely fly out the window.  Once upon a time,  when I found myself alone - before I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance, I ended up relying on take-aways.  Back in the day, David travelled more frequently to foreign locations and initially I would be a little jealous, although once I started to travel for work I soon discovered that it ends up not being as glamorous as we first assume it will be.  He spent most of his time abroad in conference centres or at client locations (factories that produce semi-conductors are not all that exciting it turns out).  So whenever he was away, I would simply sample a different local take-away menu every night.  It was a time of terrible dietary habits and sometimes, if i was feeling sad and lonely (and terribly sorry for myself) I would just skip dinner altogether and drink heavily instead.  However, once you have removed alcohol and cigarettes from your diet the hunger returns fairly quickly and as I am now gluten intolerant there was no way I could just ring up a take-away (sadly Watford does not cater much AT ALL for those afflicted, although there is a fish and chip shop in Rickmansworth that does use gluten free batter on request, it is just a little too far from our home for this man to go roaming and even on a bus it is about 2 hour round trip (and as the bus service is privately run, it is ridiculously expensive to boot!).  So having no desire to actually cook anything, I reached for the convenience food that we store in the freezer for just these lazy occassions.

We always keep several boxes of gluten free battered fish fingers - both Sainsburys and Tescos sell their own range and they always cost twice the amount of other branded non-gluten free varieties and they are NEVER on special.  However, they are a source of comfort for both David and myself as we regularly used to consume them in our childhood and they are one of my favourite "fast food" emulations [3-4 fingers, grilled (or fried, sometimes) between two slices of buttered bread with generous dollops of mayonnaise and tomato sauce and individually wrapped slices of processed cheese (the cheese truly has to be of this variety to turly emulate the fast food chain's plasticky texture)].   However, I noted that as we had completely run out of gluten free bread, the fish finger sandwich would not be on the menu tonight and so I had to come up with an alternative.

So with 10 fish fingers under the grill (hey, my Wii Fit board, after rudely declaring that I hadn't been using it for over 1200 days and intimating that I would be the size of a small elephant, did an about face when it mentioned that I had lost 8lb since my last visit and that I was actually 23 years old!  I DESERVED 10 fish fingers!) I returned back to my roots, my first ever cookbook, the Sarah Brown classic tome.  I actually didn't need to check this at all, because what I consider to be the simplest and tastiest recipe of béchamel sauce that you ever could make is one that I have made so often I have learned it completely by heart.  I have even gone as for as adapting this recipe to fit whatever ingredients I have to hand (I've added, on occasions, homemade curry powder (it's always homemade, because once you make your own, you NEVER want to have a store bought variety EVER again), chilli flakes, cumin seeds, fennel seeds... oh the endless varieties and combinations of flavours that this little sauce can contain).  I consider béchamel sauce, which Sarah and most folk tend to just call "white sauce" to be THE NUMBER ONE sauce in my repertoire, mainly because it is so easy to make (I would say Hollandaise is my favourite, but, if you've been following this blog or have any experience with making Hollandaise, you'll understand why this is not something I decide to make very often at all).  My mother may have made her own variety of this sauce (not that she ever taught it to me although her mustard version with mashed potato and hard boiled eggs was one of my favourite childhood dishes) and her mother once showed me how she made her version which used only the cooking water from the vegetables (and no milk at all - clearly it was a war time recipe and I remember painting a smile on my face as I ate it but secretly wanting to throw the vaguely tasteless gloop in the bin after the first spoonful) but it was Sarah Brown who taught me about the joys that could be gained when you infused milk.  Why had nobody ever taught me this most wonderful method of adding flavour to liquids before?  I vaguely remember my mother saying that she was aware that you could do this, but something about the extra time it took – now she did used to rush home from work to get the dinner on, and in the mornings of course she would get up extra early to do the vacuuming and cleaning… so I'll give her that one (and a few others).

Initially I used to religiously follow Sarah Brown's stove top method.  Add 300ml of milk to a saucepan, into this goes dried mixed herbs, 10 peppercorns, a bay leaf, 1/2 small onion roughly chopped and of course the obligatory salt and pepper.  After the advent and arrival of our first microwave oven, I also stumbled across my second most favourite Sarah Brown cookbook, the Vegetarian Microwave Cook Book, in a discount book store (for some reason, probably due to the fact that Sarah's BBC cookery shows were never actually screened on Australian television, I tended to find her books here heavily discounted, which of course was fantastic for me, because as a struggling student/unemployed actor [as I was for many years in my youth] I could rarely afford to actually purchase books from a bona-fide bookstore).  THIS cookbook is probably unlike ANY other cookbook ever written for a microwave oven – I have never found one quite like it – it was brilliant at teaching you how to use this little device to cook almost anything and everything in it.  I still use it to check how long a certain vegetable will need to cook, and once you learn how to cook rice or other grains, you'll never need to buy that stupid ridiculously expensive "Microwave" rice variety again (and I never did).

Infusing milk in a microwave, provided you have a pyrex or other suitable microwave proof measuring jug, is a convenience that every modern cook, once discovered, rarely returns to the more traditional method of doing so.  You measure out the quantity of milk required and then chuck in all the ingredients that you wish to infuse.  Pop it on the "high" setting for about a minute, leave to stand for a few minutes (just leave it in the microwave), then give it a quick stir and pop it on high again for another 30 seconds.  This really gets the flavours flowing into the milky mixture.  I now commonly add a stock cube instead of the salt and pepper and I have seen some recipes that call for a chopped carrot, but I've never noticed it making much of a difference.  I imagine celery would… now that I think of it…. and when I have an abundance of fresh herbs I use these instead of the dried variety for added flavour.

The next step in making the sauce is to melt a nice heaped tablespoon of butter in a saucepan.  Add to this a couple of tablespoons of flour and stir vigorously, I use a fork for this, until the mixture resembles "fine breadcrumbs".  I must admit, this terminology used to confuse me a little (having only ever been aware of the dried variety) and I find that I add a little more flour now that I use a gluten free variety.  The more flour you add, the thicker the sauce becomes and it is down to a personal choice whether you want to go for a custard like consistency or a less gluggy version - experiment until you get the consistency you desire.  I think I am still experimenting every time I make this sauce and from the outset I am never truly certain about what I am after until the sauce starts to thicken and tells me….!  Once you've got the flour and butter mixed well (commonly known as a "roux") you can start to add your milk – in quite small amounts.  If you add too much milk too quickly, you'll get lumps (which you can fix by straining the sauce through a strainer, but seriously…. this is right pain and you've added extra things to your washing up list now (and cleaning a glugged up strainer is never fun)).  If you add too little milk too slowly the milk evaporates and you're left with glue so you need to find the right combination over time but carefully does it is the best song to sing whilst you making this sauce.  Whatever you do, don't stop stirring (and remove the saucepan from the heat regularly to prevent the sauce from burning, as once you've got the flavour of burnt milk in your sauce, it is, I promise you, well and truly ruined).  Every time the sauce starts to thicken, it's time to add more milk, until you've added the final drops.  As I'm pouring straight from the Pyrex jug into the pan, I find using a tea strainer really helpful to stop the bits from falling into the saucepan.  Some folks will strain the milk into another jug prior to making the roux but again, you end up with more washing up that way.

While I was making the sauce, I was also boiling a large pan of water into which I'd thrown a child's handfull of salt (to make it "as salty as the sea" – no oil though, pasta won't stick together if you ensure that it is stirred while it is boiling and oil will just form a slick on the top of the water anyway so it is pretty pointless to add).  Into this, I poured a small amount of pasta.  I never mind too much if I cook too much pasta – it fries up very nicely the next day in a small amount of butter - and with fried eggs, grilled halloumi and some microwaved baked beans (along with oodles of ketchup) it makes a very nice brunch indeed.

To turn the sauce into a cheese variety, II will often stir a few tablespoons (or more, depending on how lardy I want it) of creamed cheese into the mix and, depending on how cheesy I'm feeling, I will add anything from half a cup to a cup and a half of grated cheddar.  This instantly turns the sauce into cheesy delight and no need to bake this version of macaroni cheese (although along with baked tomatoes and peppers, this can become a gorgeous baked dish), I often just throw some oven baked tomatoes in the bottom of the bowls before adding pasta and pouring oodles of this cheesy béchamel over the top without baking.

And that was my salute to the solo meal.  The cheese sauce was delicious with the fish fingers – I always somehow feel that cheese and fish should be frowned upon – if I have a tuna mayo sandwich and I add slices of cheddar to it, I feel like I'm breaking some gastronomic rule of thumb… but I like cheese with fish!  And regardless, I was on my own - I could have had fish fingers and custard if I had wanted as there was no one else present to tell me I should not.

Needless to say, when I got on the Wii Fit board the next day, I'd somehow managed to gain a few pounds.  When the board asked me why I thought that might have happened, I told it I had no idea.  "Do you really have no idea?" it questioned back.

Lucky it can't read my blog….. can it?